


texting (with a capital S)

by renaissance



Series: Haikyuu!! Rarepair Week 2015 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: HQ Rarepair Week, Inappropriate Humour, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 04:58:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3637590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissance/pseuds/renaissance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	texting (with a capital S)

**Author's Note:**

> [Haikyuu!! Rarepair Week](http://hqrarepairweek.tumblr.com/) Day 5: ~~Mistakes /~~ Texting
> 
>  
> 
> Can I just say... I still can't believe I wrote this. I used the texting prompt, but, look, everyone makes mistakes. This is full of very poor life choices. Some of them may be mine.
> 
> Make sure no-one's looking over your shoulder and enjoy.

Hanamaki’s phone vibrates in his pocket.

 _Good boys don’t text in class_ , his mother’s voice echoes in his head, the same voice she’d used after he was put in detention on the first day of middle school. Ironically, it was his mother he’d been texting, asking her to pick him up early because he was feeling sick. He wasn’t, really. He just wanted to leave school and never go back.

Things have changed a bit since middle school, though. With only a few weeks left until he graduates from high school, Hanamaki has come to the slightly awkward realisation that he doesn’t want the year to end.

And the text is from Matsukawa, probably. Hanamaki doesn’t really text anyone else these days. That, and, they’re sort of, a Thing.

This— _whatever_ they are—has been going on since just before Spring High. It started kind of casually, with the sense that two friends occasionally kissing was perfectly normal, but lately they’d been pushing those boundaries. And then, the other night, halfway through a game of Mario Kart, Matsukawa accosted Hanamaki on Banshee Boardwalk and things had gotten a bit heated. The game lay abandoned, alongside most of their clothes, on Matsukawa’s bedroom floor.

So, Hanamaki closes his hand over the phone in his pocket. It vibrates again. He’s sitting in the back row. What harm could it do just to check?

 

> (Received 10:05) bored
> 
> (Received 10:07) answer me you tool

 

Hanamaki glances up. The teacher’s got her back to the class, writing on the board. He takes a deep breath and replies.

 

> (Delivered 10:08) loser get off my case!!!
> 
> (Delivered 10:08) dont u have work 2 do ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)

 

Proving that he doesn’t, Matsukawa replies almost instantly.

 

> (Received 10:08) who works in class
> 
> (Received 10:09) live a little hanamaki
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:09) get a real job mattsun (´ゝз・)─☆
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:09) don’t talk to me like that
> 
> (Received 10:09) who are you my dad

 

Hanamaki pauses and stares at his phone. _Who_ is he?

 

> (Delivered 10:10) what r we
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:11) what do you mean
> 
> (Received 10:11) we’re in class if that’s what you’re asking
> 
> (Received 10:11) but somehow i think it isn’t
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:12) nice 1 genius (¬_¬)
> 
> (Delivered 10:12) i mean like
> 
> (Delivered 10:12) r we
> 
> (Delivered 10:12) u kno
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:12) excuse me
> 
> (Received 10:13) are you asking me out via text
> 
> (Received 10:13) that is so not romantic
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:13) u want flowers dickhead
> 
> (Delivered 10:13) ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:14) this is the worst confession ever
> 
> (Received 10:14) i want my money back

 

And that’s when it hits Hanamaki, that he just _confessed_. That’s a milestone he’ll never get back, and he did it via text, with flower emojis. What an _idiot_.

He flips his phone closed and stares with determination at the whiteboard. The teacher is working through a differential equation, and it’s the kind of thing that Hanamaki can do easily. His phone vibrates in his clasped hand, and he gives in.

 

> (Received 10:16) don’t give me the silent treatment hanamaki
> 
> (Received 10:16) i’m not ready to break up yet
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:17) chill
> 
> (Delivered 10:17) i just need some time 2 process
> 
> (Delivered 10:17) wat just happened
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:17) is it really such a surprise
> 
> (Received 10:18) i mean literally four days ago you touched my penis
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:18) do u mind
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:18) yes
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:19) im trying 2 focus on class ಠ_ಠ
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:19) maybe focus on the fact that you just asked me out
> 
> (Received 10:19) dumbass

 

 _Fine_ , Hanamaki thinks, _you want to do this properly?_ He’ll show Matsukawa what he can do when he’s focused. He’ll show him what he gets for starting a fight that there’s no way he can finish.

 

> (Delivered 10:20) mattsun……….
> 
> (Delivered 10:20) r u sure u want 2 do this
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:20) what, go out with you??
> 
> (Received 10:21) obviously yes
> 
> (Received 10:21) idk you’re
> 
> (Received 10:21) pretty great

 

Hanamaki is taken by surprise, and he can see his reflection in his phone screen looking like he’s just swallowed a sea urchin, spikes and all. At least no-one in the class is looking in his direction. He wants to kick Matsukawa in the shin for being such a lowkey romantic.

The one thing this does, though, is solidify in his mind that his next goal is to ruin Matsukawa’s life.

 

> (Delivered 10:22) ok so ur my boyfriend now
> 
> (Delivered 10:22) better start acting the part
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:22) ok what’s my first task
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:23) sext me

 

For the first time, there’s no immediate response. Hanamaki hopes like hell it’s because Matsukawa is blushing like a goddamn tomato, and not just because his teacher’s called on him to answer a question, or something stupid. He picks up his pen and pretends to write in his notebook, until his phone vibrates again.

 

> (Received 10:26) what the fuck hanamaki
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:26) is that a yes
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:26) no that’s a “what the fuck”
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:27) ok so what r u wearing
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:27) i’m in class???
> 
> (Received 10:27) i’m wearing my school uniform
> 
> (Received 10:27) dipshit
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:27) no but
> 
> (Delivered 10:28) what r u ~wearing~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:28) right
> 
> (Received 10:28) um
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:29) take ur time

 

While Hanamaki waits for a response, he turns his attention back to the whiteboard.

“Can anyone tell me what sort of solutions we’ll expect for a differential equation of this form?” his teacher asks. Hanamaki must have looked up at exactly the wrong time, because she locks onto him.

“Hanamaki-kun?”

Hanamaki squints at the whiteboard. “Uh, periodic functions?”

“More specifically?” she asks. Hanamaki’s phone vibrates.

“Complex exponentials,” he says, fairly confident in his answer.

“Correct,” the teacher says, and Hanamaki breathes a sigh of relief as she continues with the lesson.

Preparing for the worst, he checks his phone.

 

> (Received 10:31) ok underpants probably
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:32) just underpants? ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:32) yeah um
> 
> (Received 10:32) this is weird
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:32) pretend ur not in class
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:33) please don’t tell me to close my eyes and imagine
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:33) close ur eyes and
> 
> (Delivered 10:33) gdi mattsun (¬_¬)
> 
> (Delivered 10:33) just go with it ok
> 
> (Delivered 10:34) if it helps
> 
> (Delivered 10:34) im not in class

 

Hanamaki crosses his fingers.

 

> (Received 10:34) wtf
> 
> (Received 10:35) where are you
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:35) told sensei i was feeling sick
> 
> (Delivered 10:35) now im in a toilet cubicle (｡•̀ᴗ-)b
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:35) wow
> 
> (Received 10:36) i honestly don’t know what to say to you right now
> 
> (Received 10:36) i thought maths was your favourite
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:36) sure im top of my class
> 
> (Delivered 10:36) so i can afford 2 skip
> 
> (Delivered 10:37) … also idk if its cute or creepy that u remember my timetable
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:37) i also can’t believe that you think a toilet cubicle is a more romantic location than a classroom
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:37) teacher kink? ಠ‿ಠ
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:38) will you never say those words again if i sext you
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:38) yes
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:38) fine
> 
> (Received 10:39) what are you wearing

 

Hanamaki grins to himself. It’s a bit embarrassing that Matsukawa believed his lie so easily, but at least it did the trick. The teacher has started explaining Euler’s formula to someone who didn’t get it last time. Hanamaki turns his full attention to his phone.

 

> (Delivered 10:39) nothing ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:40) please no more kaomoji i can barely take this seriously as it stands
> 
> (Received 10:40) also why the fuck are you naked in a school bathroom
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:41) because were sexting
> 
> (Delivered 10:41) do i need 2 explain everything 2 u
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:41) no i get it
> 
> (Received 10:41) but maybe put some clothes on??
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:42) what like a suggestively unbuttoned shirt
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:42) i guess

 

Hanamaki pauses to pretend he’s putting on his shirt. He also pauses to re-evaluate every choice he’s ever made that has led to this moment.

 

> (Delivered 10:43) ok done
> 
> (Delivered 10:43) now what r u going 2 do 2 me
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:43) oh so that’s how this works
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:43) well im not going 2 be the only 1 pulling my weight
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:44) ok um
> 
> (Received 10:44) do you want this in first person present tense?
> 
> (Received 10:44) first person past tense?
> 
> (Received 10:45) second person future tense?
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:45) dont b smart with me
> 
> (Delivered 10:45) 1st person present
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:45) well first things first
> 
> (Received 10:45) i knock on the door of the cubicle
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:46) i unlock it & let u in
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:46) “hello,” i say, “what a surprise to run into you here”

 

Clenching his fingers around his phone, Hanamaki scowls. Matsukawa is just messing with him now.

 

> (Delivered 10:47) i kiss u
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:47) slow down there
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:47) no fuck u mattsun
> 
> (Delivered 10:47) speed up (¬_¬)
> 
>  
> 
> (Received 10:48) ok are we really going to do this
> 
>  
> 
> (Delivered 10:48) s e x t  m e

 

There’s a pause after that, and Hanamaki wonders if Matsukawa just can’t be bothered. Maybe it was a stupid idea in the first place. Maybe Hanamaki should just try to forget that it ever happened.

Just as he’s about to give up for good, though, his phone vibrates.

 

> (Received 10:51) i notice that you seem to be getting impatient, and so i decide to take matters into my own hands. i kiss you back passionately, languishing in every moment of your touch, and i can feel a heat rising within me. unsatisfied with so little contact, i rip my shirt and tie off in one fluid movement and press myself against you. and then, with the hand that isn’t tangled in your luscious locks, i wrap my fingers around your shaft and begin to stroke.

 

Hanamaki’s eyes go wide. He can’t react. He physically cannot move his fingers to even send a string of exclamation marks. He can’t tell if Matsukawa is the worst writer in the world or the best at writing awfully.

The only cohesive thought that he can string together is that right now, he’d rather be _anywhere_ else than sitting in class with a semi.

And to make matters worse, the teacher’s voice begins to register in his ears.

“—ki-kun? Hanamaki-kun, are you paying attention?”

Hanamaki jolts upright. “Yes!” he says.

“Then perhaps you’d like to answer the question I just asked you,” his teacher says.

“Uh… hyperbolic cosine?” Hanamaki tries.

The other students in the class giggle, and Hanamaki chances a glance at the whiteboard. There are no hyperbolic functions in sight. Fuck.

“Clearly you haven’t been paying attention,” the teacher says. “Would you like to share with us what’s so distracting that you can't focus on your schoolwork?”

Hanamaki glances down at his phone. “Uh…”

“It’s that or detention,” the teacher continues.

“Honestly, sensei?” Hanamaki says. “I’ll take detention.”

She raises her eyebrows but doesn’t comment. The bell rings, signalling the end of the period, and Hanamaki goes to get a detention slip from the teacher before she leaves.

“This is your first offence, so to speak, so I’ll just give you detention for the course of morning tea,” she says.

“Thank you,” Hanamaki says earnestly. If he's lucky, the teacher in charge of detention today will be slack and let him text.

As he leaves the classroom, though, the corridors are busy, and Hanamaki has to push past people on his way to the detention room. He’s about halfway there when he runs straight into someone.

Straight into Matsukawa.

“Hey,” Matsukawa says, “what’s the hurry?”

“Ugh,” Hanamaki says, “I have detention.”

“For what?” Matsukawa asks. He sounds like he already knows.

Hanamaki looks away. “Texting in class,” he mutters.

“I _thought_ you might have been bullshitting,” Matsukawa says, laughing.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hanamaki says, “piss off, okay? I'll take my detention like a man and see you at lunch.”

Matsukawa claps him on the shoulder and walks on by. Hanamaki thinks that's that, but he's only gone a few steps when he hears Matsukawa calling out to him.

“And you'd better reply to my text!”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and maybe cry with me


End file.
